2023-12-12

Transluscent

I miss that little boy
There were days when he cried and screamed
But there are days when I do that too

And I think he liked me -
They were all calling for me to come back

I was looking at pictures today
They exist like beacons in a haze
But the fog is too thick-
Nothing is illuminated

When was this?
Who am I?

Your smile is so bright there
and I’ll never see it again
nor remember how it was conjured
in the first place

To you, I must be a corpse
with a death mask-
And some wretched animating force
moving me-

And you were fooled to think this dead alive
But perhaps by this power it
was- and so it will

I dug it all up today-
and I’m sorry
it was a demon in me,
or something

But even he could grow weary,
and I often tucked him in with a glass of warm milk
so we could be left alone.

page 1 was proof
and so are the photos
But who took them?

Primitive notion of a
demon/mind union
Calvin- where is he now?

I’m not sure

cop say she crazy now
Please don’t let it be her

The spell was strong indeed,
my prayers today were the haziest yet.

And I couldn’t focus
And I wasn’t there
And I wasn’t him
And I didn’t hear
And it’s all fading
And the sat will stand
And you’ll take your place
And I’ll squint my eyes
And I’ll turn my turn- my neck
And all I will forget
Because I won’t be able to find
Who it was that paid my rent
(What was your name, again?)

And I still remember Kiev.